FALLING OUT

We know that Ed and Helen Jondle had had a falling out with Ed’s father Michael Jondle.  Hard feelings and holding grudges may have been a family trait.  Tensions developed between Steve and his in-laws, Helen and Ed. There were a few skirmishes that went on to a full-fledged family feud. As a result Betty rarely saw or spoke to her parents for a period of over twenty years beginning in the early 1950s and lasting until Ed died in 1973.  And even after that Betty’s relationship with her mother remained severely strained. Betty had not practiced speaking Czech during those twenty some years and as a result had a difficult time speaking with her mother.  She told me that she could understand what her mother was saying to her, but that she (Betty) could only say a few simple things in response.

My brother Jim told me about one of the skirmishes.  He recalled that when they were living on the farm north of Clare, Steve was milking cows when Grandpa Jondle arrived and began yelling at Steve. Grandpa’s tractor would not run correctly because there was water in the engine.   He accused Steve of having put water into the tractor to ruin it. It was Jim’s theory that rain may have come in through the exhaust pipe.

Jim said that Grandpa was calling Steve names. Steve in turn got mad and went to the house to get the shotgun. Betty tried to stop him and they were fighting over the gun.  Steve said he was not going to shoot Grandpa but wanted to show him that he meant business.   In the meantime Grandpa ran to his car and drove off.  They were not on speaking terms after that. Anyone who knew Steve knows that he was not aggressive or quick to anger.  Grandpa must have said some pretty mean things to solicit such a reaction.  

I asked Betty why she was not on good terms with her parents.  She told me that her mother wanted Steve and Betty to teach their children Czech and that Ed and Helen thought that the Miklos had too many children. You may recall that when Helen Jondle consented to Betty marrying Steve, Helen had thought if her daughter married someone who spoke Czech or Slovak her grandchildren would learn to speak Czech (see post on May 20).  

Pauline recalled when Rose Mary was born, Grandma Jondle had told Betty that she was a nice baby but that she was born too soon after Johnny had died.  She also remembered that Grandma Jondle would come to the farmhouse north of Clare - while Grandpa stayed in the car in the driveway -  she would bring birthday presents for the Miklo children, but they were not able to speak to her because she did not speak English and they did not speak Czech.

Helen Jondle had very strong feelings about this and wrote a letter to Betty and Steve. I found the letter, which is written in Czech, and had it translated. Although there is no date on the letter I estimate that it was written in about 1951 or 52 after Steve and Betty’s sixth child, Barb, was born. In the letter Helen writes that Steve should go back to Czechoslovakia where, “Mr. Gottwald will be happy to take you!!” Gottwald was the Communist President of Czechoslovakia from 1948 to 1953. So the reference to him in the letter indicates that it was written in the early years of the 1950s.

This timeframe is consistent with Rose Mary’s memory of Betty visiting Helen Jondle when Rose Mary was about 5 years old.  After that visit the Miklo kids did not see their grandparents on the Jondle side. Rose Mary wrote, “The last time I remember going to Grandma’s, Mom went in and had me play in the yard.  I don’t remember her being in the house very long and when she came out she was crying.  I do remember some talk about Mom having too many kids and that Barb should have been a boy.”

Perhaps Betty went to see her mother to confront her about the contents of the letter.  In the letter Helen Jondle wrote that if Betty’s children did not speak Czech she should not ever come to visit. She wrote that Betty only knew how to raise children and wipe babies' butts.  She goes on to call Steve some nasty names, like ugly Bolshevik, and writes that he did not marry Betty for love but for her parent’s money. She wrote that Steve was not a hard worker and just wanted to take from others. Again, anyone who knew Steve would not recognize him as the person written about in the letter.

The letter is so negative that I decided not to post the translation of it here. But it is an important part of our family story and sheds some light on the family psyche.   Here are images of the first two pages of the letter. It goes on for eight pages.